Saturday, February 19, 2005

TSA = They Stand Around or Tormenting Stupid Americans

I Just returned from my second trip in as many weeks. Tennessee and Massachusetts. All business. I didn’t walk, drive or run. I took the more painful method. I flew.

Let’s see, I passed thru the TSA screening a total of 4 times to make these trips. I was wanded and patted down 3 of 4 times. I’m such a suspect. 60-year-old balding German American born male O/W by 50 pounds

Let me be clear. I want there to be good security. Good and Real security. Not the Barney Fifedom that TSA passes for. I hope they never give those people Tasers. We’ll all be writhing on the floor in pain.

Here are the main issues:
There are too many doing nothing. Every baggage screening machine in Chicago has 7 people manning it. 2 people work. Even the highway department gets at least half the workers to pretend to work.

When did it become law that everyone had to take off their shoes? It started that people took them off to avoid hassle. Now, if you leave them on, even if you wear shoes without steel in them or flip flops you are hassled. This is mission creep. Is no one in charge?

The TSA people have made it more and more difficult to get thru security in order to prove Parkinson’s law, “Work expands to fit the time available”. This TSA thing is a make work scheme which give the appearance of trying to create security but is in fact a sham.

Many TSA people are passive aggressive types who use their badge as a passport to be the bully they could never be if it weren’t for their uniform. Worse this attitude has spread to airline employees, flight attendants and rent-a-cops. I feel like just one buck in a herd of sheep. Flying stinks and they killed it. The terrorists have won this round.

I have an idea. Lets just eliminate all air travel. Then we’ll all be safe.

OR: The TSA could use common sense and screen out those who are the problems and maybe they could pass up a few 80 year old women in wheelchairs, ex Govoner war hero Joe Foss, old men with steel in their legs from the war, 6 year old kids and the one which baffles me to this day, 25 year old blond female airline pilots with proper identification. Of course the ACLU attorneys want to forbid common sense. You can’t stop and examine with the same detail as above any Muslim or middle eastern looking male between the ages of 17 and 40. That’d be wrong, wouldn’t it??

If you take the quiz below and pass it you will understand. I want to see some judgment and profiling and less of the phony baloney we have now.

1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. "Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. 60-year-old balding German American born male O/W by 50 pounds
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3.During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. 60-year-old balding German American born male O/W by 50 pounds
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old
American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6.In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver
trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. 60-year-old balding German American born male O/W by 50 pounds
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7.In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. 60-year-old balding German American born male O/W by 50 pounds
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9.In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Bill' s women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10.On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to
take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into
the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the
passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. 60-year-old balding German American born male O/W by 50 pounds
c. Mr. Bean
d Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11.In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. 60-year-old balding German American born male O/W by 50 pounds
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

DID YOU PASS THE TEST? DID YOU GET IT RIGHT?
If so, sorry, you have no future with the TSA.